Do our experiences shape who we are? Are the memories we keep from these
experiences more important in shaping who we are than the experiences themselves? And if our
memories and experiences shape who we are, then how can one person justify judging another
when they do not know all of their experiences and all of their memories of those experiences?
Many scholars believe our experiences do shape who we are and that memories of those
experiences are equally as important. Some scholars, however, while agreeing with that, i personnaly believe that there is a core
identity each individual has that is unchanging, the very root of one’s existence.
I used to believe that we are
our experiences; and not in any “core” that defines our identity.
Ever since I was a kid I have thought about the idea that my identity is simply a
culmination of my experiences. This thought has always been simultaneously terrifying and
liberating to me. Every experience we have shapes who we are in one-way or another. Every
experience! Even an experience that is not monumental will change us. A seemingly unimportant
experience may simply change how you feel one day which can cause a chain reaction of how
you act a certain day, and how you act that day could affect your life as a whole. Our identity is
simply a collection of moments and happenings of our lives.
The first time I realized I have the power to create my own identity i was quite young, age 11 or so, I was presented with the choice of staying in my home town or moving out to somewhere,let's say, different , I carefully weighed the consequences of each choice, When I made the decision to stay at my city I actively decided who I became by
picking one experience over the other. That was empowering.
Some experiences are more prominent and influential than others in my life. My most
recent experiences have the greatest impact on who I am in the present moment because they are
the freshest memories in my mind.
It was liberating to feel in control of my identity, of who I became. I felt like I could be
anyone I wanted because I had the power to choose who I became by
controlling which experiences I have.
I had always been aware of the terror that lay inside this
idea of identity. Thinking of identity as an ever-changing entity that is influenced by our life;experiences has its pros, but the cons can be terrifying.
It’s the idea that we are not always in
control of what we experience, and since who we are is based upon our experiences, we are not
completely in control of our identity. The terror aspect comes from the understanding that lifechanging decisions are not always ours to make. When I was a little kid I was obsessed with
imagining what my life would be like if my family had moved to this other environnment, As a child I was consumed with the idealism of these different identities. I fantasized about who
I would be if these scenarios were reality. They started as very silly imaginations of who I would
be — but as I have aged, these
ideas have become more developed. I find myself thinking about who I would be if I hadn’t
made some of the choices i've mad in these past few years , Would have i end up having the same lifestyle i'm now ? the one i'm not really proud of, or would I be
on my original path to be something else..
I still believe that experience we have shapes who we are in one-way or another.. but not directly, for example a seemingly unimportant experience may simply change how you feel one day which can cause a chain reaction of how you act a certain day, and how you act that day could affect your life as a whole. Our identity is simply a collection of experiences. identity is simply defined by "our" vision of these experiences. and our memories and feelings about them,more than the events themselves, We are all simply collections of our memories and thoughts , and naturally those collections are all unique and different, so there is no universal truth or set of morals. There can’t be. With no universal truth and no universal set of morals nobody can really know anyone else because they simply don’t know all of that person’s collection! I believe that that there is a core “you” and as you explore life, you acquire memories, beliefs, and experiences. These memories, experiences, and beliefs are a part of who you are, but just a part; this core “you” has all of these parts.
The idea of core-identity came from Plato who believed, “What
I essentially am is a simple, immaterial soul.” . While a lot of philosopher weren't a board with plato, like John Locke for example, Joseph Butler questioned
Locke, Buttler still believed in Plato’s substance-based identity. and thought Locke had
made a “wonderful mistake.” He says, “While memory can reveal my identity with some past
experience, it does not make that experience me.” Butler insists, “What I am remembering are
the experiences of a substance, namely, the substance that constitutes me now.” So, Butler and
Plato believe in this core self, while Locke is left a lone-ranger believing that our identity is
made up by our experiences alone .
But daniel Kahneman, in a interview of his that i saw couple of years ago , said that experience and memory both shape who we are in different ways. He believes there is an “experiencing self who lives in the present and knows the present” and that there is a “remembering self that keeps score and maintains the story of our life.” I agree with this philosophy. Overall, he says, “What we get to keep from our experiences is a story.” This idea is what ties experience to memory and vice versa. Experiences and memories are both equally important in shaping who we are.
Overall, as i've just said to the person who stimulates my brain everytime with these questions x) : I feel very strongly that experiences,combined with memories, shape who we are. An
experience can lead to a belief, desire, or goal. A memory can leave us with intentions. All of
these things make us who we are. All of these things will never be fully lost. Even when we can
no longer remember, the memory is still there in the depths of our mind..
-M.
